Living together unmarried or premarital cohabitation has become very common in the western world. What has started in Scandinavia (Europe) by non-religious young adults, has spread all over the western countries during the past decades. Young unbelievers didn’t want to commit to the bonds of marriage anymore. They didn’t want to be told what to do and how to live their lives. They didn’t want to submit themselves to all kinds of rules and regulations. Instead, they wanted to be free and live their own lives, making their own choices and rules in life. In these days, many consider cohabitation normal. They consider it a good thing to live together before marriage. But although many consider it a good thing, does God consider cohabitation a good thing? What is the will of God regarding living together unmarried? What does the Bible say about living together unmarried? What does the Bible say about sex before marriage? Should Christians live together with someone, who isn’t their spouse or not?
The decline of Christianity has influenced western culture and its moral standards
Unfortunately, the decline of Christianity has influenced western culture and its moral standards. The decline of Christianity has caused a change of morals, including replacing the institution of marriage with cohabitation aka living together unmarried.
Many people are living together unmarried and don’t see the need to get married. Now, you would think that cohabitation is part of the world and that only unbelievers are living together unmarried. But unfortunately, that’s not the case.
Due to the carnal mindset and the worldliness of carnal Christians, who walk after the flesh, many have adopted the customs of the world, including living together unmarried.
They have the spirit of this world living inside of them and therefore they think and live just like the world. They have replaced the institution of marriage with cohabitation, and use many lies to approve it. Because you must get to know each other first before you’ll get married and make a marriage commitment.
The marriage covenant
God has instituted marriage as a holy covenant between a man and a woman. Through the marriage covenant, the man will be bound to a woman and they shall become one flesh. Because of the fact, that marriage is an institution coming from God, God will provide His blessing.
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh (Genesis 2:24)
And He (Jesus) answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that He which made them at the beginning made them male and female, and said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder (Matthew 19:4-6)
God hates divorce
Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. For the Lord, the God of Israel, saith that He hates putting away (send away): for one covers violence with his garment, saith the Lord of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that you deal not treacherously. (Malachi 2:15-16)
The devil hates the marriage covenant
However, the devil hates every covenant that God has instituted, including the marriage covenant. The devil shall do everything he can to defile and destroy the marriage covenant. How does he do that? By instituting same-sex marriages, so that the holy marriage covenant will be defiled by his works. Because God considers homosexuality as an abomination, and that will never change (read also: what does the Word say about homosexuality?) Isn’t it odd, that homosexuals do everything they can to make same-sex marriages legal, while heterosexuals don’t want to get married anymore, but want to live together unmarried?
The devil uses adultery and divorce to defile and break the marriage covenant. But the devil also uses cohabitation and makes Christians believe, that there is nothing wrong with living together unmarried or to be living together before marriage.
Many Christians consider living together unmarried as rather good, because how else will you get to know the person? If you live apart from each other, you will not be able to fully get to know each other.
Maybe distance plays a role, so it’s easier to move in together. Many Christians also say that times are changing and therefore they approve of living together unmarried.
Yes, the devil uses many lies to mislead the believers and causes them to believe his words, so that they will live according to his will instead of God’s will. Just like the devil did in the garden of Eden when he tempted Eve with his misleading words.
But a true son or daughter of God, who is filled with the Holy Spirit and therefore has His nature, shall never live together unmarried. Because living together unmarried is outside the bond of marriage, and therefore it’s a sin. The Holy Spirit, Who dwells in the person, shall convict the person of this sin of cohabitation.
What does the Bible say about living together unmarried?
Jesus is very clear about having a relationship with a man or woman, who isn’t your spouse. When Jesus sat down by the well of Jacob in Sichar, which is a city in Samaria, a Samaritan woman came to draw water. When Jesus asked her to give Him water to drink, she replied, how He, a Jew, could ask her, a Samaritan, to give Him water to drink. Because Jews were not allowed to hang out with Samaritans. Then Jesus witnessed about the living water, that only He could provide. When the woman heard His words, she asked Jesus to give her of this living water. Now, let’s see, what Jesus said to her:
Jesus saith unto her, Go, call thy husband, and come hither. The woman answered and said, I have no husband. Jesus said unto her, Thou hast well said, I have no husband: For thou hast had five husbands; and he whom thou now hast is not thy husband: in that saidst thou truly (John 4:17-18).
This woman had five men, who weren’t her legal husbands and the one she had at that moment wasn’t her husband either. She was together with a man, whom she didn’t marry and Jesus confronted her with this matter.
Is premarital cohabitation God’s will or is premarital cohabitation a sin?
Is premarital cohabitation God’s will or is premarital cohabitation a sin? If you live together with someone, who isn’t your spouse, then it’s not according to God’s will. Therefore you live in sin. It doesn’t matter whether you have a sexual relationship or not. The fact is, that you live under the same roof and share a household together outside the bond of marriage
This also applies to unmarried Christians, who are sleeping together and having sex before marriage. If you live together unmarried or if you live apart but have a sexual relationship with someone, who isn’t your spouse, you commit fornication. Fornication is not according to God’s will and therefore it is a sin.
Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband (1 Corinthians 7:1-2)
I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I. But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn. (1 Corinthians 7:8-9)
Many Christians live like the world
Christians, who live together unmarried and/or have a sexual relationship without being married, are carnal. They have the mind of the world and do the works of the world. Therefore, they belong to the world. According to the Word, they commit fornication and therefore they are fornicators. A person can say that (s)he is a Christian, but his or her works prove something else.
The devil also believes and the devil is not saved. Only the works and life of a person prove to whom a person belongs: the world (devil) or Jesus Christ (Read also: ‘The will of God vs the will of the devil‘)
All those, who love Jesus shall listen to His words, obey His words, and therefore shall live according to His will. They shall remove all the sins and uncleanness of this world, that cause separation between them and God out of their lives.
But those, who listen to what the world and what people say, shall live like the world and shall do those things, that are an abomination to God and go against His will. Therefore, the life of a person shows to whom a person belongs.
Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge (Hebrew 13:4 (note: this has been written after the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus Christ and therefore part of the New Covenant)
The church has failed
It is the responsibility of the church to bind and to loose; to forbid the works of the kingdom of darkness and to permit the works of the Kingdom of God. However, the church has not guarded her gates properly. The church didn’t close the doors of the gate for the works of the world and false doctrines. Instead, the church has opened the doors and allowed the doctrines and the works of the world, including fornication into the church. Because if you live together unmarried you commit fornication.
When the first signs of premarital cohabitation became visible and more and more young people wanted and decided to live together unmarried, the church should have taken her stand upon the Word of God.
The church should have stayed faithful in representing the will and the Kingdom of God and should have stayed faithful to Jesus Christ; the Living Word, Who is the Head of the church and says that God has instituted the marriage covenant.
The church should have talked, disciplined, and corrected the young people of the congregation, who wanted to live together unmarried.
The church should have addressed that living together unmarried is fornication and is not according to God’s will. Then if the young people would decide to not listen to the words of God and submit to His will, but rather stay rebellious against the words of God, the church should have removed them from the church, for the sake and well-being and protection of the other believers in the congregation. Because a little leaven leavens the whole lump (Read also: ‘What does it mean to deliver a person unto satan?’).
Besides that, if the church would have taken a stand on the Word and stayed faithful to the Word, the fear of the Lord would have remained in the church.
The church has bowed to young adults
But the church didn’t act that way. Instead of taking a stand on the Word; Jesus, and staying faithful and obedient to Jesus Christ, the church has bowed to the rebellious young adults and compromised with the world.
By allowing Christians to live together unmarried, the church has allowed the spirit of this world and the spirit of fornication inside of the church.
Maybe the church was afraid of losing the young people. But the result of allowing cohabitation is that the church is now full of (hidden) sexual uncleanness, like living together unmarried, and full of fornicators, adulterers, cheaters, ’Johns’, whoremongers, homosexuals, sneaky porn watchers, pedophiles, zoophiliacs, and so on.
Caught in a web of lies
All those things, which are an abomination for God are being done, by God’s so-called sons and daughters. The devil has succeeded in taking the church captive by his lies. And the worst thing is, that most believers, including the leaders of the church, are spiritually blind. They don’t see and realize that they are caught in the devil’s web of lies. Many think, that they are pleasing God, while God has already left them. Because how can righteousness have communion with unrighteousness? How can holiness have communion with sin?
Jesus dealt with sin and the sin problem of the fallen nature of man. So that, by becoming born again, everyone had the ability to become a new creation without the sin nature and walk as a son or daughter of God in righteousness and holiness reigning over sin and death.
The church and people can approve of all kinds of things, but the Word is the truth and the Word decides. Eventually, it will be the Word and not man, Who will judge every man according to his works (Revelation 20:12, 15).
Therefore, says the Lord: “Repent, while you still can and remove the sins, which are those things that I hate and are an abomination to Me and go against My will, out of your life”
‘Be the salt of the world’
