How do you deal with the feeling of rejection? There are many people, who suffer from the feeling of rejection. The feeling of rejection rules their lives, whereby they always feel rejected and never accepted by others. Some are insecure and always feel inferior to others. They always feel that they’re not good enough. As a result, they become passive and isolated, feeling like a failure, and rejecting themselves. Others have the exact opposite and become perfectionists, and always need to prove themselves to feel accepted by others. In both cases, the lives are controlled by the feeling of rejection and can lead to dangerous situations in the lives of the person, the family, and/or even society.
How dangerous can the feeling of rejection be?
The feeling of rejection is not an innocent but a dangerous feeling that can have disastrous consequences. If the feeling of rejection controls someone’s life it can lead to death: suicide and murder.
Take for example the school shootings. Many times, the reason for these shootings was that the shooter felt rejected and angry. The shooter became a victim of the feeling of rejection and developed such anger that it turned into hate towards others, the school, schoolmates, and society
The shooters blamed others for feeling rejected. They lived in silence with such hate towards them that it resulted in killing innocent people.
The feeling of rejection was created in the mind of the person through situations, circumstances, events, and/or the words of people. As this feeling was fed it became so intense that it resulted in destruction.
The perpetrator, who felt rejected, wasn’t the only victim of this feeling of rejection anymore. But innocent children and adults also became victims of this feeling of rejection that controlled the person’s life.
This example shows, how a feeling of rejection can harm society.
Many people feel rejected and harm themselves
The feeling of rejection can be a dangerous feeling for you. Since the feeling of rejection can lead to self-pity, self-hatred, self-rejection, and heavy depression that could lead to drug addiction, alcohol addiction, anorexia, bulimia, and sometimes even suicide.
Instead of killing someone else, they kill themselves. But we know, that killing others or yourself is not the will of God. God said that you shall not kill.
The feeling of rejection opens the door to other destructive feelings
Many times a feeling of rejection is accompanied by other feelings. For example a feeling of inferiority, self-pity, self-hatred, anger, jealousy, sadness, depression, etc.
If you don’t find your peace in Jesus Christ and don’t walk after the Spirit and take authority over your feelings but walk after the flesh and allow the circumstances and your emotions and feelings to rule your life, you’ll become a victim of all these feelings. They will control you and destroy your life.
Maybe you are in a place right now, where the feeling of rejection and all these other feelings control you. You feel lost, not loved by anybody, and don’t see a way out anymore.
Maybe you think, that the only way to escape these feelings, is by stepping out of life. But DON’T DO THAT! There is a way out.
How to get rid of the feeling of rejection?
God shows a way when you don’t see a way out anymore. Because God always has a way out. His way is His Son; Jesus Christ.
The only One, Who can save you and redeem you from the feeling of rejection and all the other feelings, is Jesus Christ! Jesus is the only Saviour, there is no other. No doctor, psychiatrist, psychologist, regression therapist, or … can help you. Only Jesus Christ can help you!
What does the Bible say about rejection?
Let’s have a look at what the Bible says about rejection. There are many stories about rejection, but let’s go back to the beginning of the Holy Scriptures. Let’s go to the place where it all started. The place where rejection took place for the first time. That is in the Garden of Eden.
God walked with Adam, He had a relationship with him. They were spiritually connected; Adam was God’s son. God loved Adam and gave him a free will to make choices.
Because of the fact, that God loved him so much, He gave him instructions (commandments). One of the commandments He gave, was that Adam could eat of every tree in the garden, except for one tree; the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. God knew, what would happen if Adam ate from that tree. Therefore He gave an instruction to protect His son.
When you love someone, you don’t want that person to become hurt or that something bad will happen to that person. God did the same thing. He didn’t want anything bad to happen to His son. God wanted Adam to trust in his Father and to love his Father completely. God never forced Adam to love or to trust Him. No, Adam had a free will.
Adam rejected his Father
Everything went well, until… Adam became disobedient to his Father and sinned. He didn’t keep God’s commandment. He doubted the love of his Father and believed his wife and a stranger (the serpent) instead.
God forbade him to eat from that tree because He knew what would happen if he would eat from it.
But Adam doubted the love of God, he doubted His words (commandments). By his action, Adam showed God that he didn’t trust Him completely.
What do you think, how God felt at that moment?
How would a father feel, when his child will not listen to him, and becomes rebellious and turns against him? How would he feel, when his child says: “ I won’t listen to you anymore! I will only listen to what Joe’s father says because he tells the truth!” How would a father feel when his child, his own flesh and blood denies him as a father and considers him a liar and turns to a stranger? How would a father feel, when a child denies him or we can rather say rejects him?
I think the father would be sad and would feel rejected by his own child.
God was rejected by His own creation
The first person, who rejected God was Adam (and Eve). He listened to his wife (creation) and the advice of a stranger, instead of listening to his own Father. Because of his deed, this stranger became his new father. Adam rejected God by disobeying Him, and therefore he sinned against God.
Adam rejected God by not keeping His commandment. Because of his disobedience, he felt rejected by God. He felt ashamed,
Cain and Able
The next person, who rejected God was Cain. Cain rejected God’s commandments. He had sacrificed fruits of the ground. Sacrificing fruit was something Cain wanted to do, instead of what God wanted. Cain didn’t know God and didn’t know His will and didn’t live a righteous life. Therefore God didn’t respect the offering of Cain. But God did respect the offering of Abel. Because Abel knew the Lord and showed Him, that he loved Him, by obeying Him.
Abel kept God’s commandments and lived righteously. Cain didn’t obey His commandments and did not live according to His will, because of that he rejected God and God rejected Cain.
When we look at Esau’s life, we also read that he rejected God, for the lust of the flesh; food (Hebrews 12:17).
You have been given a free will to make decisions
Every person has been given a free will to make choices in life. You have a choice to love God and obey Him, or not.
When you choose a life without God, and reject Him and His Word, by not listening to Him and by not keeping His word and commandments, you will automatically choose another father; the devil. The devil shall reign in your flesh, and shall eventually destroy your life. You shall be led by negative thoughts, emotions, and feelings, coming from your father and the darkness.
“Because of the fact, that you have rejected God, you shall feel rejected”
You cannot blame God for that feeling of rejection, because it’s a result of your choice. You’ve decided to obey the devil by living in sin and iniquity, instead of obeying God’s words and keeping His commandments.
But don’t worry, because God is always there, to give you a second chance.
He loves you so much, that He always allows you to turn back to Him. The only thing you have to do is to repent and turn to Jesus.
When you repent, accept Jesus as your Saviour, and make Him Lord over your life, and when you keep His word and commandments, then your feelings of rejection shall disappear.
You will then walk in unity, with your original true Father, who loves you and who accepts you, just as you are.
By the power of Jesus Christ and His blood, all feelings of rejection, self-hatred, self-pity, depression, etc. shall disappear.
You can talk to psychiatrists and psychologists all you want, and do all kinds of therapies. But they cannot take away these feelings and heal you. Because the root of the problem is not in the natural realm but in the spirit realm.
Only Jesus Christ, can take these feelings away and heal you.
Jesus was rejected
Jesus was rejected by His people. But did He feel sorry for Himself and did He mope in a corner? Did He lock Himself up, feeling depressed? Or did He attack the people around Him with a knife or sword? No! And why didn’t He do that? Because God had not rejected Him. Jesus did the will of His Father and walked in His commandments.
Whatever persecution He went through, He never disobeyed His Father. Because He obeyed His Father, and because He was in constant unity with Him, He didn’t feel rejected. Not even, when He was rejected by the people, including His disciples, and had all the right to feel rejected.
There was only one moment, that Jesus felt rejected, and that was the moment when He carried our sins at the cross.
At that moment, Jesus was separated from God because of sin and God had to reject His Son because God couldn’t (and still cannot) have communion with sin.
When that happened, feelings of rejection came upon Jesus, and He carried these feelings of rejection for us.
I think this must have been the worst moment in Jesus’ life when Jesus was separated from His Father. But even during that time of rejection, Jesus trusted His Father.
Jesus submitted Himself completely to His Father. Therefore Jesus bowed for the feeling of rejection and rejection ruled over Jesus. Why did Jesus do that? Jesus could also have come off that cross because Jesus had the power to do so.
Jesus loved His Father
But Jesus loved His Father so much, and He knew how much God loved people and still loves people. Jesus knew how precious they were to His Father. Because of His great love for His Father, Jesus persevered and showed His great love.
Jesus has done this all for you! So that you wouldn’t have to go through it anymore. Jesus bowed to every feeling from the devil (self-hatred, self-rejection, self-denial… you name it). Jesus has bowed for all feelings of the power of darkness and carried them so that you could be freed from these feelings.
How to deal with a feeling of rejection?
When you repent of your life as a sinner and accept Jesus Christ as your Saviour and Lord, become born again and submit yourself to Him, then these feelings of rejection shall disappear.
You don’t have to go back to your childhood, puberty, or any other moment, to find out what has caused this feeling of rejection and when the feeling of rejection entered your life. You don’t have to go under hypnosis to look for the cause. Because we know what the cause is: separation from God.
The only place you have to go is the cross. The cross is the place where reconciliation takes place, between you and God through the blood of Jesus. Jesus carried rejection so that you wouldn’t have to carry it anymore. He reconciled you with your real Father.
Are you a Christian and are you wrestling with these feelings of rejection, or any other negative feeling then I would like to encourage you to start reading God’s Word. By reading the Word of God, you will get to know Him and you will find out what pleases God and what doesn’t please God. You will find out, how He thinks and feels about you, and that you are accepted by Him.
When you live in the Word, then it doesn’t matter, what people think and say about you, or how they treat you. Because you know, how God feels about you, and that you are chosen by Him. When you know this truth, you will become untouchable.
Reconciliation with God destroys the feeling of rejection
When you are reconciled with God, through Jesus Christ, then the feeling of rejection shall disappear. Because you are reunited with your real Father, Who loves you and wants you.
When you are reconciled with your Father, it is time to renew your mind with His Word and be transformed into the image of His Son Jesus, because He wants all of His children to walk and be like Him.
As long as you stay in the Word; stay in Him, and keep His commandments you shall stay united with Him, and you will be untouchable
Where does the feeling of rejection come from?
‘Be the salt of the earth’
